Blessings in the Tragedy
By Marley Comito
A recent virtual BBYO meeting. Photo courtesy Marley Comito.
March 13th, 2020, was the last time I stepped foot inside my high school. What we all thought would be a much-desired school break last spring ended up turning into a canceled school semester, summer, and beyond. I never imagined my senior year would be spent at my bedroom desk, but there are so many things we never thought would happen that have ultimately become our reality. Nobody ever anticipated this “alternate reality” we are currently living in would last so long. So many of my friends and I are upset that we missed our Junior prom, Ozo summer at Herzl Camp, Senior homecoming, college tours, last year’s seniors graduation, and more. But that is nothing compared to the pain and anguish of the 220,000+ Americans and 1.12M+ worldwide citizens that have lost their lives, the families and friends that have lost a loved one, and for anyone else who has personally suffered due to the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic. In the grand scheme of things, doing AP Psychology from my desk pales in comparison to those many losses.
Though we are disappointed, as the rest of the world is, my friends and I are trying to focus on positive things. As we have adapted to this new virtual era, a lot more good than I originally anticipated has come from this change. My siblings and I are now able to FaceTime some of our friends while doing our schoolwork to work collaboratively with them. I have gained a new sense of independence through completing my online school work from home as my teachers are no longer there to push me as they normally would in a classroom setting. It is my job to be productive, and I’ve liked that all of my work is now kept in one place which helps me be more organized.
Outside of technology, this quarantine has also really given my family and I the opportunity to spend more time together than ever before. Last spring, we learned to play Mah-Jongg together which bonded us and became a routine activity after dinner each night. We have learned to make more healthy time for each other now that we are home and spending quality time together. Even as a teenager, I am noticing and becoming more aware of the good things that are unfolding out of something horrible. In absolutely no way am I trying to downplay any of the businesses, restaurants, movie theaters, and other impacted industries that are truly suffering from this pandemic, but my friends and I have learned through these experiences that in order to stay somewhat positive about the inevitable, we simply cannot live only in the negativity this virus has brought all the time.
In fact, as I write this, my Jewish friends and I from Kansas City, Omaha, and St. Louis are currently planning our regions’ first-ever virtual BBYO convention this fall. I am the president of our Minnesota council here (called North Star), and due to the newness of this virtual concept, my peers and I have to create something new. It’s been a great opportunity for leadership and growth.
Yes, it sucks that I’m not going to be able to see my out-of-state friends as I usually do for these conventions and that we don’t get to stay at a campsite or hotel this year as usual. However, through this never-before opportunity, I have learned to network and I have learned to write professional emails to reach out to teens, staff, and their families. Our council here in Minnesota has learned to continue recruiting our teen membership even during a pandemic, and we have just reached the 100-member mark this past week. We have learned to program through Zoom and have found new ways to spark connections even though we can’t all be in the same room. From this shift, we have thoroughly managed to do all things digitally which will clearly be very helpful to us later on in the working world.
One of the greatest disappointments that COVID has yielded was my younger sister, Ruby’s, Bat Mitzvah. Our family had Ruby’s entire Mitzvah weekend already planned to be at Herzl Camp late this summer. I had my Bat Mitzvah there in 2016, my brother had his Bar Mitzvah there in 2018. We take a bus up to camp along with our friends and family that come from all over the country to celebrate with us on our Mitzvah weekends.
When my mom got the call that Herzl would be closed for the remainder of 2020, she cried, realizing we wouldn’t be able to have this magical experience for Ruby. This past August, Ruby’s Bat Mitzvah was at our dining room table. We had the rabbi, we had the Torah, she made and gave her speech, she received the blessings, but there was no Mercaz overlooking Devil’s Lake, there was no Chadar Ochel where a DJ would play blasting music for us all to dance and party to.
But there was a beautiful silver lining. Ruby’s Bat Mitzvah was the most inclusive of all of our Simchas. People from all over the globe were able to celebrate with her. Relatives that wouldn’t have originally come, like our extended family in Europe, and some of our grandparents and great-grandparents spread out over the country were able to experience that moment in our dining room with my family. And that was beautiful. This made me realize once again that Bat Mitzvahs are not all about the parties and trappings, but about my sister standing up to read from the Torah, all of the blessings that we have, and ultimately accomplishing a goal. Whether it be at Herzl or at home, it’s the same goal and it is just as beautiful and meaningful.
COVID has taught me to always look for the blessings in the tragedy. Even in our greatest disappointments, I have learned that usually out of every misfortune comes a lesson. These experiences and what I have witnessed first-hand have given me the skill that when faced with adversity, I will always try to find that silver lining. Hopefully, this global pandemic is a once in a lifetime experience, but its lessons will last my entire lifetime.
Marley’s written more for us! See her article here about her time with the Alexander Muss program in Israel, or read her wishes for a sweet and happy Rosh Hashana here.