Gratitude in the midst of a pandemic by Amy Hirshberg Lederman
The Twin Cities Jewish Community embarked on an adventure four years ago to build endowments through a partnership with the Minneapolis Jewish and St Paul Jewish Federations and the Harold Grinspoon Foundation.
With the ongoing support of these institutions, It’s Your Legacy was initiated in 2016 and today has secured almost 37 million dollars in future estimated gifts from 962 donors. Thirty Twin Cities Jewish organizations have participated over the four years to help sustain the future of our Jewish community for years to come.
On September 10th, It’s Your Legacy will celebrate the generosity of these donors and the participating organizations.
Amy Hirshberg Lederman, public speaker, columnist, and author will be featured at the event. Read on for a preview of her talk with a glimpse into her thoughts on gratitude.
By Amy Lederman
Originally published in Intermountain Jewish News on July 2, 2020.
Since March of this year, we have been forced to reassess and restructure how we think about and interact with the world. From empty calendars and stockpiled closets to work, family and social lives that resemble nothing like we have ever known, we bear witness to living in a COVID world.
For most of us, the rapid and intense paradigm shift from frenetic socialization to quarantining and isolating has been difficult and stressful.
To protect ourselves, our families and our communities from the devastation that the virus can cause, we have been strongly urged, even required in some states, to “socially distance” — to stay at home as much as possible and to mask up and stay six to 10 feet apart while outdoors.
I am grateful for the leadership and continuing, heroic medical efforts that guide us through this time of great uncertainty. But I am also saddened to see the emotional fallout from what constitutes our “best practices” to minimize the risk of getting COVID.
Social distancing, while mandated and necessary, is a double-edged sword.
True, it can help us stay safe and healthy, but it can also make us feel unsafe with others and cause unhealthy emotional responses.
I know this first-hand as it recently happened to me at the grocery store during one of their “seniors only” hours.
Usually one to smile and chat up the check-out person, I cast my eyes downward, limiting not only contact but conversation. Then I swiftly dodged the two other people in line and raced to the finish line—the designated “exit only” sign.
I sat in my car in the parking lot, emotionally wiped from the experience. “What is happening to me?”
I’m left to wonder: Is there a way to work through this without compromising physical and emotional health — mine and others?
Perhaps it’s overly simplistic, but I think the answer may lie in a single word: gratitude. Cultivating and particularly expressing gratitude may be a game changer in the arena of social distancing.
In Hebrew, the term for gratitude is hakarat ha-tov, which translates to “feeling thankful for another person’s act of kindness.’”
So, consider this:
Wearing a mask in public and physically distancing from others indicates that people care. They care about me, about you, about not transmitting what they may have more than they do about their physical discomfort in wearing a mask — especially in Arizona where summer temperatures are often well above 100 degrees!
I feel grateful for this kindness, for the caring others show me.
So my resolve from now on is to thank people, as much and as often as possible, for masking, for honoring physical distancing and for doing the hard work of living in community and acting responsibly.
We may not be able to see each other’s smile behind a mask, but a grateful word and smiling eyes will more than do the trick.
Many highly regarded doctors, psychologists and health organizations have also promoted replacing the term “social distancing” with “physical distancing” to describe our responsibility to one another during the pandemic.
While the actual recommendations remain the same, a change in messaging may do much to increase our ability to sustain a healthier emotional attitude.
We are all aware that we can’t forgo human contact indefinitely. Increasing and fostering social connectivity and inter-dependence in a healthy and safe manner is necessary for the long term.
Outdoor visits should be encouraged, appropriately distanced dining, hiking, biking, walking, yoga, swimming are still possible. And although many of us may already feel “zoomed out,” there is something truly astonishing in our ability to now gather together—as a family, group, book club or professional group and share time and ideas, rather than space, with one another.
In acknowledging feelings of gratitude, we do ourselves a great service. We stop, if only for a moment, and let go of the feelings of loss, anger, grief and frustration that we may be carrying because of COVID. And in that moment of feeling thankful, we affirm what is good in life.
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For more information about It’s Your Legacy, visit jewishtwincities.org/legacy, or email Susan Lieberman at slieberman@jewishtwincities.org.
Register here for the 4th Annual It’s Your Legacy Celebration.