‘Don’t let anything steal your joy’—a lesson in contentedness
By Marley Comito
2021 was supposed to bring hope and change, but so far I have found myself struggling. I don’t mean to complain, but I’ve realized that I am struggling with jealousy. I look through my Instagram feed each day and see my friends on warm beaches in paradise, or my older friends partying at college. While I am quarantined at home in the middle of a Minnesota winter, traveling sounds like the greatest thing I could ever wish for. I know that my friends that are traveling are just doing what their parents want, but I can’t help but wish my family could experience a trip like that right now too.
Something I have learned to contain is judgment; Why are people going to Mexico for winter break while thousands of people are dying in filled capacity ICU beds? Why are people crowding public beaches and restaurants in Florida when COVID cases are continuing to rise and CDC guidelines aren’t being followed? These answerless questions run through my mind every day, and just before I jump to judge these people for their decisions, I remind myself that if the opportunity were handed to me and I was in their position instead, I would probably buy myself a plane ticket a heartbeat after it was offered.
Through my struggles with these overwhelming feelings, I did some research to help me find out why I feel this way, why I feel guilty about feeling this way, and also how I can work through this jealousy. I came across an Aish article called “Freeing Yourself from Jealousy” which explained to me that the Torah says “each of our desires is determined by our view of ourselves and the world,” which means that we ultimately have control over our desires and how we wish to deal with them. Whenever our emotions seem too powerful to subdue, we still have the ability to alter how we think.
Sometimes, we tell ourselves false narratives when we feel jealous (or maybe that’s just me). When I tell myself “I’m not lucky enough to go on a vacation like my friends are right now, my life sucks,” I am giving myself the wrong self-perspective. The article also said that the first commandment about believing in G-d includes the belief that G-d provides each individual being with exactly what it needs both physically and spiritually. Therefore, my desire to vacation like my friends, or wanting what others have, is considered the opposite of the first commandment. I have learned that being realistic about my strengths and weaknesses, and what I have versus what I do not, can truly change my thoughts of jealousy and instead make me content with what I have. I haven’t mastered this yet, but learning this lesson has made scrolling through Instagram a little bit more enjoyable again.
“I have learned that being realistic about my strengths and weaknesses, and what I have versus what I do not, can truly change my thoughts of jealousy and instead make me content with what I have. I haven’t mastered this yet, but learning this lesson has made scrolling through Instagram a little bit more enjoyable again. ”
But until I can sit on a beach with my family again, for the rest of these long, cold, quarantined days, I will continue to get through them by imagining what my post-COVID life will look like. A year from now, I will be in college surrounded by new friends (in hopefully warmer weather too), I will likely be vaccinated to prevent COVID-19 from ruining yet another special year in my teenagehood, but most of all, I will be able to travel and live freely once again as I did before this horrible virus. I am still working to overcome my envious thoughts, but I have learned to be grateful for exactly what I have at this moment. My mom always says “comparison is the thief of joy,” and I’m really working towards not letting anything steal my joy.
To read more of Marley’s incredible, wise writing for us, click here. Learn more about her time in Israel with the Muss program and more! Also, check her out this week on TCJewfolk’s Who the Folk?!